A Poem To My Father

Dear dad,

I know I don’t call you that often. If ever. 
I know your life has been rough.
It hasn’t worked out the way you’d like. 
I know you miss Wendy.

I wish I could turn back the clock.
I wish I could say I’m sorry. Don’t leave. I love you. He loves you.
I was scared. I was turning into something…
Ugly. 
And I couldn’t see myself.,,
But I tried.

Tried to bring happiness to the darkness.
Tried to bring love to the lonely.
Tried to jump across the and mend the broken hearted.

But dad, life has crept up.
Love has lost its way.
Lines are drawn.
People are’a walking.

And it’s all blue.
Bleak.
Blurry.

But dad.

I tried.

I bled. I did. I died. Again and again…

But dad.

Before you go. Before I get the chance to know you. Before my life or maybe your life is over, I want you to know…

Dad.

I want you to know…

I’m sorry. I lost my way. I lost myself. I lost you.

And I’m sorry. 

Oh, God, I am sorry.